While there have been many fairy tales about how wonderful love is, there’s also another side to all that. In reality, committed, long-term relationships take quite a lot of work. Living with someone else means there will be fights and disagreements at some point.
Bumps in the Marriage
When people take the next step in the relationship and get married, these bumps in the road don’t magically disappear. Unfortunately, it has led many couples to the end of their rope and their union. Thankfully, divorce is not actually always the answer. Issues can be worked through by undergoing marriage counselling. This is also where better communication will spring from, alongside the opportunity for the lost spark to be rekindled.
The work that goes into relationships should always come from both sides. Being in a committed relationship at the marriage stage means that life is not just about you anymore. You and your spouse essentially become one. A struggling marriage will benefit greatly from seeing a marriage therapist.
Read on for indicators that it’s time for marriage counselling:
1. Communication Almost Immediately Means Fights or Negativity
Sometimes, there can be too much passion, and that’s not necessarily good. Chances are, you and your spouse are having major issues because conversations almost always mean fighting or arguing. In those cases, communication has very obviously broken down. It can eventually mean that at least one of the partners will turn defensive, overly sensitive or act from an unnecessary place of hurt. Dysfunctional interactions will most certainly lead to the marriage breaking down. Communication is something a marriage counsellor can absolutely help.
2. Lies and Secrecy
By default, marriage needs to have full honesty. Of course, some white lies are acceptable. This includes the likes of a husband telling his wife she doesn’t look fat in a dress, and a wife telling her husband she’s alright with him being late for dinner because of work. That said, when the lies or secrets between a couple are about significant matters, there’s a bigger problem. There could be a major trust issue at hand.
3. One or Both of You Have Turned Indifferent
Understandably, when you ask people what the opposite of love is, their answer will likely be hate. That’s not entirely true, since hate still involves caring, and some level of passion. The opposite of love is actually indifference. When you and/or your partner don’t bother to argue or fight about things, marriage counselling is in order. See if any of the following apply:
- Apathetic about struggles with sex life
- Living entirely separate lives with little to no overlap
- No awareness or care of the whereabouts of the spouse
- No longer expressing beliefs about issues
- Not caring about your infidelity (or theirs)
- Not wanting to spend any time with each other
- Uncaring about an upset spouse
Love is the stuff of fairy tales; in reality, it takes more than that for relationships to work. Conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships, especially for married couples. Signs that marriage counselling is needed include lies and secrecy, indifference between one or both partners and communication almost always leading to negativity.
Looking for the best marriage counsellors in Queensland? Reach out to Halcyon Counselling today! We provide mental health counselling for individuals, couples and families through phone, video and in person on the Sunshine Coast.