Being in a relationship can be deemed as one of the most beautiful things in life. You have a partner and companion that will spend the rest of your days with you, always there to hear you out and hug you even when you’re down with the flu. Indeed, a relationship is worth more than any lottery jackpot that you can randomly come across in life, much so that around 79% of people still prefer to choose love and relationship over riches, according to a study done in 2020.
But even with all that considered, we need to address the elephant in the room—not all relationships are good. Let us clarify it further: not all relationships are healthy for a person. This is true, especially if you happen to have a narcissist as your other half.
What Is a Narcissist?
Narcissism is a personality disorder that describes a person that has excessive self-admiration. They may look and act like any average person at first glance, but their true personality will come out once you get to know them.
The most common traits that they have usually involve excessive instances of only talking about themselves and an unhealthy craving for recognition. They also tend to want all the attention in the room.
How Do You Deal With a Narcissist?
It is important to emphasise that you can never change a narcissist. It is a disorder, a condition that prompts them to do what they do simply because they cannot help it. They do not have the power to change themselves, so don’t waste your energy trying to accomplish what needs to be addressed medically.
With that in mind, the only way to cope with this situation is to protect yourself, especially if the person you need to deal with is your spouse or partner. Here’s what you can do:
1. You Have to Set Boundaries
One way of protecting yourself from your narcissistic significant other would be setting limitations, a clear line that they shouldn’t cross. We’ve mentioned before that they keep themselves in high regard, meaning that they also do not want to take advice from other people but themselves.
In such a case, talk to them calmly about the things that they shouldn’t do. Again, this is not you trying to change them, but rather, you telling them the things you are not comfortable with. If they retaliate with a loud voice and hurtful words, be sure to step back and let them know that you are not talking to them if they will reply in that manner.
2. You Have to Understand Their Condition
They can’t help it, so in some way, you may feel sorry for them as well. But do not let that be a reason for them to walk all over you—you still need to give yourself a break from all the hurt they may have caused.
3. You Have to Accept That Their Apology May Not Be Sincere
Narcissistic people love to be praised as the protagonist of the story, so their gesture of apologising to you for the things that they did will be more about their ego than them being afraid to lose you if they don’t apologise.
4. You Must Realise When It’s Time to Let Go
As painful as it may sound, you just have to accept that not all relationships can be saved. In such cases, you may have to split with them or file a divorce. They may not take it lightly, so feel free to contact the authorities if you think it may get out of hand.
Being in a relationship with a narcissistic person can be tricky. The amount of ego, arrogance, and verbal abuse is not something everyone wants to go through. If you can still tolerate it, you may set boundaries to try to make it work. However, once it gets out of hand, be sure to save yourself from further abuse and live a life free from stress and a selfish partner.
If you wish to save your relationship through the help of professionals, then our couples counselling in the Sunshine Coast here at Halcyon Counselling is just what you need. We offer our mental health counselling for individuals, couples, and families. Contact us for more information about our services.